i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize