Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
