covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I queefed so loud it echoed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
