Will you blow on my dice?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize