how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
