Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
