Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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