White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize