Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
