Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
