I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
