WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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