Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
