dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
