Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
