if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
