it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
