ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
