Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
