Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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