just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A bitchslap is in order.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
