It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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