We need to rekindle our bromance
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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