If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
