I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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