I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
