I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
