since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
