Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I am naked and annoyed.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
