thus making me awesome and them whores
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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