oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
