My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
