Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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