That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
