I hope mine doesn't look like that
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
