Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
