Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
