5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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