Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
