Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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