Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
