we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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