so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
