im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
