I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
