He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
ttyl tear gas
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
