Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize