his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
