oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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