is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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