Yo dont text me then not text me
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
