Yo dont text me then not text me
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
