whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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