If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize