Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
