Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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