After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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