The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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