you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
