Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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