he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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