I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
