I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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