i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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