these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
