thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think my fart just growled at me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
