Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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