if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
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