My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
