i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
