Porn is love you can see.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
