I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
