He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
