I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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